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  • Meya H

Overcoming My Insecurities




Overcoming insecurities is a big part of achieving personal growth when it comes to mental health and building a strong sense of self. There is no one perfect way of handling insecurities or dealing with them. I find that this is mainly because the insecurities we experience varies on a wide scale. Even just the insecurities we have within ourselves vary. The causes can be something so deep and hidden within that we don't even realize it was something big enough to cause an insecurity, or it can be something as simple as you looking in the mirror and not liking the way you look in the moment.

I could never tell anyone how to completely get rid of all their insecurities because I am not a therapist nor do I have enough life experience to ascertain something so complex. What I can do is share my experiences with insecurities and share my journey to uncover how they effect my daily interactions and how I choose to battle them on a day to day basis, because trust me, with the way the like to shove their way into my brain it's a legit battle to fight them off.

Personally, I like to break my insecurities down into two categories. 1. The physical insecurities 2. The mental insecurities.

The physical deals with the physical aspects of myself I don't like due to unrealistic standards of beauty, people making comments about my appearance, feeling uncomfortable in my body etc.

The mental category is in my opinion the hardest, because it deals with so many subjects and topics and is not always easy to explain. For instance, there are only so many body parts and physical aspects I can pick apart. But when it comes to mental, it's like there is always something more to feel insecure about. I would describe these insecurities as dealing with my personality type, the way I interact with people, being knowledgeable about a certain topic, my reactions to situations, etc.

Both categories of insecurity are troubling and difficult to deal with but for me, I find it helpful to separate them because the way I deal with these insecurities will change

In this world when it comes to insecurities, I find that a lot of people will try and tell you to ignore your insecurity by focusing only on the good traits. To me, this makes no sense. I've had so many people tell me to just simply stop being insecure because I'm perfect the way I am and that I'm beautiful so there is no need to worry. For me, trying to displace my insecurities or ignore them doesn't work. Because no matter how many good characteristics I see in myself, it is the one bad thing that will keep me up at night. You can't just look in the mirror once and tell yourself you are beautiful and expect all your problems to melt away if you don't really believe or understand what that means to you. Overcoming insecurities is a whole reworking of my mental process. I have to be able to look at myself and realize that there are parts about myself that I'm not one hundred percent in tune with yet. I can still love those parts of myself just as much.

I personally love challenges, so I view insecurities as a challenge or some sort of battle. The insecurities will always be in some part of my mind so instead of thinking about all the ways to completely eliminate them at once, I focus on coming up with goals or challenges to complete. This helps me, 1. begin to focus on a short term goal 2. Address the insecurity in an honest way. If the insecurity is something more mental like me not feeling smart enough, I will come up with a plan to enhance my knowledge in a certain subject. For me the idea is that, even though in reality I am smart enough and good enough the way I am, working to improve in anyway gives my mind an outlet to focus on something productive. Sometimes it can be a simple goal or task such as organizing my room or cleaning the whole house in a short period of time. The focus can also be on taking on new challenging tasks like painting or sculpting or taking care of plants.

The feeling of conquering something I've been working hard at puts my mind in a head space that is solely focused on the challenge. The great part is that I can always come up with new challenges. It gives me a chance to succeed at something that is in my control while still creating positive change or habits.

This of course is specific to me and my coping mechanism is not the solution. I just find that this helps me to gain a sense of control and instead of hiding my insecurities it confronts them and allows me to become better. This is a relatively new tactic that I've been implementing but I naturally did that a lot as a kid. When I was younger, I would immerse myself in a new sport or activity whenever I felt low or down about myself.

Overcoming my insecurities is an ongoing journey that does require work but for me that's what makes the overcoming part so worth it. Accepting that I have insecurities is a very special part of who I am. As much as I would love to portray confidence in myself, I think it is just as important to portray the vulnerabilities that I have.

I know this post is all over the place and maybe it was helpful maybe it wasn't. My goal is only to provide insight and ideas to make you think about insecurities differently and to share my journey with you.

xoxo- Meya

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